Sunday
28Dec2008
Connecting More with My Husband: Day 11 of 15 Days of New Years Resolutions
Sunday, December 28, 2008 at 5:21AM
Photo by Emilie SommerLet me tell you a little story about how my husband and I met. The first time we met it was when we were in high school. I went to public, he went to private. One of our mutual friends who lived in his neighborhood but went to school with me brought a friend and me to a party one night. My now husband and I spent an hour that night talking and my friend and I ended up giving him a ride home. We shared a smooch on the way home but he didn't ask for my phone number and I wasn't about to offer it up, but I thought about him from time to time for years after.
Fast forward ten years later and I end up working for a consulting firm where another of my now husband's friends worked. Talking to him in his office one day he mentions a friend and the name jogs my memory! A few months later I run in to my now husband at a benefit and a few months after that, our mutual friend I worked with invited me to go on a ski weekend with a big group, my now husband included. We reconnected and became friends, but I was dating someone else at the time. That guy and I eventually broke up...the weekend before Valentines Day. My now husband found out and asked to take me out on Valentines Day. I wasn't sure if we were going as buddies or on an official date but I knew part of me was hoping for the latter vs. the former. Well, my hope was realized. Seven months later we were engaged and a year after that we were married. Three months after walking down the aisle we found out we were expecting and in 2009 we will celebrate our five year wedding anniversary.
Why am I telling you this story? Because we all have one or we all will have one. When I think about our story it sounds so romantic, like it was fate for us to be together. But now with our busy schedules, a preschooler, and just trying to stay sane...it seems like too much time goes by between those moments when we connect.
So in 2009, I plan to make this New Year Resolution of connecting more with my husband by doing the following:
- Completing a couples journal together like "Between Me and You Honey" or "How to Love Me: The Lovers' Book of Questions"
- Invest in hotel quality sheets
so that way even though we can't get away to a luxurious hotel, we can still make our bedroom feel like we are.
- Try to have a "date night" at least once a month. Both of our families live in the area so finding babysitting is not an excuse. We already received a gift card to a fantastic restaurant to include babysitting from my mom for Christmas so it's just a matter of making time for it.
- Share my husband's interests more and invite him to share mine. I already tried mountain biking a few years back but definitely didn't catch on. But my husband loves trying new hot sauces
- We're also going to try to play more of the games we enjoy like dominoes and backgammon.
How are you going to connect more with your husband, wife, or significant other this year?
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Reader Comments (10)
This is a good reminder, Jessica! I need to think more on this one more. I'll be coming back to read others' suggestions.
I think this is definitely something that falls by the wayside when you have families and jobs to do. I've been trying to focus more on it, as well.
When I read the story about how you & your husband met it reminds me of how my husband and I met: through a mutual friend in HS, though we lived in different towns, then again when that mutual friend married my sister (we were both in relationships), then again at a party hosted by mutual friend & sister. Three times fate put him in my path- it was definitely "meant to be". :)
Jodys last blog post..http://www.iowageekonline.com/2008/12/afternoon-alone-whatever-will-i-do.html" rel="nofollow">An Afternoon Alone (Whatever Will I Do?)
As for my husband and I, he was divorced and taking care of a beautiful little girl not quite 2 years old. From dating to marriage, there was never a time where we didn't have children to take care of. Living over 1000 miles (or more) away from family, babysitting was a bit harder for us to find. His work schedule never left us a lot of time to date either since he worked 24 hour shifts every other day. It's amazing how we even found the time to fall in love. hahaha j/k Lucky for us, we fell in love at first sight and I remember even writing in my journal that night that I had met the man I was going to marry. A month later my dad gave his permission to marry me and we were engaged. :)
We recently made a life change for our marriage and he is going back to school to do a career change. Something he loves while giving himself more time with his family. Since he decided on a career change, we decided that there was no reason to keep living that far away from family. So last October we spontaniously moved in with family and have never once regretted it.
With all the extra time we're getting together and with family all around, we definitely have time for more dating this year. It's giving me more time to myself (which I haven't had at all since meeting my husband) and also time for us to date. 2009 is a perfect year for this resolution. We are even planning the honeymoon we never had. I knew this one would definitely make it on my list of 43 things even if you had not. ;)
Hi Jess! Such fun to catch a Google alert pointing me to your site this morning. Congrats on all your exciting success! So happy for you, and very impressed (teach me how to get 6000 Twitter followers!). Big hugs to your family! Happy New Year!
I do have a similar plan in mind but it won't kick off until Hubby comes home. Until then I have other plans on trying to stay connected while for away and still being a good wife for him, even if he isn't here to experience it.
Love the post and such a cute story!
This Military Mamas last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ThisMilitaryMama/~3/494740176/merry-christmas.html" rel="nofollow">Merry Christmas!
This is definitely one of my goals for this year as well! Hubby and I are long overdue for some lovey-dovey time!
Christie-A Work In Progresss last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/christiecrowder/~3/497757669/monday-morning-announcements-im-keeping.html" rel="nofollow">Monday Morning Announcements: I'm Keeping it Classy
We both have very hectic schedules, since he home offices often, I and I am home, I really want to make an effort for us to have lunch together as often as possible. At dinner time, it's all about the 3 kids and their school days. Since we are both home most days working, why not sit together and spend that time of the day to connect. Most of the time hubby has conference calls or appts that fall during that time because his job covers all time zones. (I am going to put a request in for no calls appoints via phone during lunch and see who that works). We still have date nights now that kids are older we can leave them at home--so nice!
I am in love with your story! My hubs and I went to the same high school and middle school so we've known each other for a total of 20 years which is mind boggling some days. We've been married (almost) 13 of those 20.
The interesting thing is that we never dated in those years of school. We didn't date until after we graduated high school. I was close friends with his cousins. He went into the Navy and kept in touch with me as an inside gossip track to the family. When he came home the first time, I thought he looked rather handsome and for the first time I considered he might be more than just a friend but I wasn't about to share that with him. The second time he came home on leave, we went out with a group of friends for New Year's and I unfortunately I wanted him to kiss me at midnight but was too shy to go after it!
A mutual friend of ours knew I was falling for him. She kept in touch with him and told him in how I felt. We chatted on the phone and I eventually learned he felt the same way. So funny to think of now but we long distance dated for almost a year. Eventually we were able to live together and the rest as they say is history with 4 kids and 13 years married.
What a great story Jess. Thanks for reminding me of my own love story and what a great man I have - we struggle for time together too so your story inspires me to make more time for us.
Nikki @ The Guilty Parents last blog post..http://www.theguiltyparent.com/?p=154" rel="nofollow">2008: The Parenting Year in Review
My hubby and I are actually going to try to take a vacation without our 4 young kids this summer, after the baby is weaned. We'll see!
Jessicas last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/MomForHim/~3/500291847/our-dinner-conversation-last-night-h.html" rel="nofollow">
Ever feel like a blog post was meant just for you! This one definitely did. We've been so busy the last year with full time jobs and then a web startup that my poor husband has been feeling very neglected! It's so hard to feel romantic and connected when you're feeling tired and stressed all the time so I think making sure you have some 'me' time is as important when it comes to connecting with your husband.
Candices last blog post..http://blog.bidmycleaning.com/?p=134" rel="nofollow">Looking for Green Coupons?