Friday
Jan302009
Curse Words and Social Media...As Bad as it Sounds?
Friday, January 30, 2009 at 1:04AM
I've been hearing a little bit of chatter around the interwebs about cursing and social media.
Some are very passionate that social media is not a place for curse words while others argue that since authenticity is so important...for some people, it's totally appropriate.
I'm going to offer my opinion today for what it's worth. Oh, and when I say opinion, that doesn't mean I think my opinion should be share by everyone else...in fact, it means I want to hear yours too. In fact, I implore you to share your thoughts in the matter as I find this a very interesting topic.
First of all, if you knew me in my 20's, I wasn't a potty mouth but I could curse like a fudgin' sailor on occasion. I bet you can guess what changed all that.
Pregnancy.
And yes, I mean pregnancy. I forbade all cursing around my ever growing belly because I didn't want the baby to hear! You can imagine I was REAL popular at the parties all my still single friends invited me to (not). Somehow I went to from party girl to total prude in a matter of a month.
You might have noticed I use the term "wth" (what the heck) instead of the usual...deep breath..."wtf". I use the word "cheese" when I want to use the word that starts with an S and ends with a T. But that's just how I roll. I will admit that if someone tells me something that totally blows me away - either good or bad - I sometimes slip with a "Holy S-oh hai-T!" but that's rare.
And I confess that when I was delivering my son after being induced and not one, but two epidurals not working I dropped the F-bomb. A lot. But I apologized to the doctors profusely after each one. No seriously. I did.
But here's the thing. I don't mind a little cursing on the internet especially when it comes from other adults. If social media is one big cocktail party, think about it. If you were at a cocktail party networking event and someone you really liked and admired let an expletive or two fly...would you really not work, partner, or continue to grow the business relationship with them? I would. When someone's merits completely outshine a few "bad words", I'm not going to unfollow them on Twitter or un-Friend them on Facebook (ok, well maybe for a Whopper), or not link to them on LinkedIn.
Now, if you start dropping the f-bomb in front of my 3-year old I might ask you nicely to stop or simply leave the room. But even then, I'm not going to stop being your friend or promoting your business or networking with you.
Let's be clear...I'm not saying everyone should just start cursing for sport. What I'm saying is that a little sprinkling of curse words never hurt anyone. And while the worst you'll hear me say is "smartasses" (I know, total prude) on the internet, I won't judge anyone for saying a lot worse. However, if you use that kind of language in an abusive way or as means of attacking someone, that's a different story. But that has less to do with the language and more to do with the intention.
What do you think about cursing on the interwebs?
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Reader Comments (10)
I did unfollow someone recently because I was completely blown away by some of the words flowing from his twitter stream. He gave me a glimpse of the "real" person, and I realized that maybe I really didn't want to hear what this person had to say all that much after all.
I think it would totally depend on what exactly was being said, and whether I was a little surprised or truly offended by it.
Dawn @ My Home Sweet Homes last blog post..http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/MyHomeSweetHome/~3/raabrgUqiro/" rel="nofollow">I ? Faces: Joy (week 3)
It is funny to me how stereotypes sometimes are right on the money (hence the existence of said stereotypes, right) and some are so far in left field it's not even funny. My dad was career military (Navy) and I can remember all BOTH times he 'slipped' and cursed in front of me as a kid; he apologized profusely BOTH times and obviously made an effort to not use certain words in front of me and my sister.
Now after we were grown that changed but not drastically; he didn't feel so bad about it but he didn't do it for sport, either. Unlike his trucker daughter (me) who swears up a storm to indicate a good day, bad day, meh day or Tuesday. But because of common sense and the example set for me as a child, I really do curb it around the kids. Have they heard an occasional slip? Sure. Have I apologized and moved on? Sure. It's a big enough deal to me to be aware of but not something I am going to base a 'low opinion' of somebody on; I save that for people who ignore, abuse or neglect their children and treat others shabbily. In my world, there are bigger and meaner things to worry about than f-bombs.
On that note though, I do try to mind my manners when commenting on the blogs of others; if it's clear theirs is a 'clean' blog, I won't even comment as CharmingBitch, I will sign in as CharmingDriver because I do respect the choices of others; what's funny though is that given the name of my blog is CharmingBitch, I have still had people comment/e-mail that they, ''love my blog but the cursing is really bothersome, could I cut that out?'' In a word: No. I will play respectfully on the fields of others but I will not be dictated to on my own. Like it, love it, leave it, it's all good to me, bitches :)
CharmingBitchs last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Charmingbitch/~3/515361193/unlocked.html" rel="nofollow">Unlocked
This is so ironic. I just used the word "crap" today for the first time. Ever.
I've done so well keeping the language to a minimum in my home, saying it when something unexpected happens. Hubby being military is another story, especially after coming home from extended time away, whoa nelly!
Now, online, I have not said anything more than 'suck' and 'crap' and the like. I think suck is fanfrickentastically funny (Oh yeah, freakin' and fricken', too, obviously LOL). Other stuff? If used in the right context can be funny. Like Jay at Halftime Lessons dropped the F bomb the other day, and had me rollin'. Some can use it awesomely.
In social media, however, it should be used in the same way. You want to honor who you are, but if you're networking for business, you wouldn't drop the F bomb in a business meeting, no matter how casual the situation might be.
Great post!
Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parentings last blog post..http://www.crazyadventuresinparenting.com/2009/01/poop-factor.html" rel="nofollow">The Poop Factor
I feel the same ! It is OK every now and again. A sprinkle here a sprinkle there!
Debbies last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/mommiemayhem/~3/521226085/note-to-self.html" rel="nofollow">Note To self ...
OK, I'm a curser. I try to make note of the company I'm in and change my vocab to reflect that. For instance I would never curse in front of my grandmother, but I drop bombs in front of Dearest without a second thought. So sometimes, yes, I curse online. Especially when talking politics, because sometimes a politician does something so aggravating that it just can't be described without a few four letter words. LOL
Summers last blog post..http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/WiredForNoise/~3/Ib65fF-KQH0/im-going-to-blogher-thanks-to-hot-slings" rel="nofollow">I’m Going To BlogHer Thanks to Hot Slings
Wow, what an ironic first post for me to stumble upon:)
Ok, so here is the thing, for me, if it doesn't interupt the flow of the piece I am reading, it doesn't bug me. I read a lot of blogs that throw it in for the sake of it, and it's awkard and distracting from their point.
I find I am no stranger to them, but I fancy my blog a genuine and authentic reflection of myself, and I write in the exact way that I speak (er um, when I am not in the company of little ones).
I see my posts as moments of conversation, and I want the person reading it to feel the same way.
So, for me at least, it almost always has a swear word sprinkled in.
Brittanys last blog post..http://www.barefootfoodie.com/2009/01/two-unrelated-topics-that-bug-me-in.html" rel="nofollow">Two unrelated topics that bug me in equally irrelevant ways
I also can throw out a good curse word here or there, but as with everything else, there is a time and a place for everything. If I am on twitter, trying to network and make friends, I don't want to be known as the one who throws the F-bomb around.
Angie
@pricousins
Interesting topic.
I personally curse very rarely. Very. Stubbed toes don't even garner a curse word. :-) I won't say never, because I'd be lying, but maybe three or four times a year.
Now, having said that, my friend has a rule about cursing. She said if you cannot think of at least 5 alternative ways to express that same thought, do not say it. I love that rule! I tolerate limited cursing from those around me when they have proven themselves intelligent enough that I am confident they COULD express the same idea five different ways.
If someone were ALWAYS cursing, I would begin to wonder whether their intellect were as limited as their vocabulary. *wink*
Angela <
Angela Englands last blog post..http://angengland.com/childbirth-class-week-four/" rel="nofollow">Childbirth Class Week Four
On my blog, I write like I talk and that does include a few cuss words. I've said I few on Twitter but not many and they're usually edited, replacing letters with a * or !.
I figure if it bothers people, they have the option of not following me on Twitter or reading my blog. If they feel so strongly about those words that it stands out to them more than the thousands of other words I use then we never would've connected very well anyway.
But to assume that someone who uses a cuss word is somehow intellectually inferior and low class? Wow. That's a pretty harsh judgment to make of someone.
We are who we are and not everyone is going to like each other. Does that make one type of person better or smarter than another? Not so much.
Aprils last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ThatCrazyMom/~3/519369268/" rel="nofollow">Coming up for air
It's not that I don't want to "be your friend" - I have friends who curse. But I don't want curse words floating around in my head. I think it's inappropriate in mixed company - and social media is mixed company. And if someone's language is foul - other than a mild expletive occasionally - I WILL unfollow them. If it's on their front page of twitter or FB, I don't follow them to start with.
It's not that I expect everyone to have the same opinion as me - what a messed up world THAT would be! It's just that I'm VERY cautious of what I allow into my mind. I'm cautious with music, TV, and chatter online. I only have one mind and it has to last me a long time. I protect it as best I can.