This past Sunday I heard a wonderful sermon on the affect of Slander. This is both in what we say and what we don't say. There was a great part about 1/2 truths. As a reminder to us all I leave you this...The Feather Parable: A man went to the town monk. “Monk,” confesses the man, “I have been slandering you to my neighbors. I am sorry for what I’ve said and how I’ve treated you. I take back all the bad words I have said. How may I find penance?”The monk nods graciously, then sagely proffers this command: “Go pluck 3 chickens. Stuff a bag with the feathers, then go place one feather on every doorstep in town. Return to me when you complete your task. ”Scurrying away, the villager meticulously complies. He returns to the monk the next day.“Monk,” smiles he, “I have obeyed your instruction exactly. What should I do now?” “Now,” intones the monk, “go pick up every feather.” “But, but,” splutters the villager, “it has been an entire night and they are scattered to the wind. This task is impossible!” The monk nods in agreement, turns, and walks away.

Amen. I stopped blogging on my personal blog for a few months in 2007 for this reason. I have no room in my life for drama, and it sadly seems there is no shortage of it in the blogosphere. Then I realized that it was up to me not to buy into other people's negativity; I can't change how others think, but I do have control over my own actions and so that's what I focus on. Also: big believer in karma and paying it forward. You do amazing work to help others, Jessica, and it will continue to come back around as rewards in life for you tenfold. And those negative folks? They have to live with their negativity and all the awfulness it manifests. You keep on keepin' on, girlfriend ;)

Jessica,
You are one of the most powerful voices on the internet and there are so many people that look up to you and respect you in a huge way, myself included. I noticed something different about you since around the holidays, but I just figured you were extremely busy. I missed the exuberant, vivacious Jessica and have been glad that the thoughtful,humble Jessica hasn't vanished or let down. You are amazing and should never let yourself succumb to the drudge that infectiously brings one down. I try my hardest to surround myself with positive people because I can easily be brought down from peoples negativity. Stand tall girl! You are well loved by MANY!

I have had to learn a lot of hard personal lessons here on the wild, wild, Internet over the past 15 years. I have much in common with those who have been a target at one time or another. I can certainly relate to what negativity can do to you and how it can drain the very life from you if allowed. I suppose I have learned to be me and not settle for anything less. My fingerprints are unique for a reason. It is my job to not fall victim of being swayed away from who I am and to remember my fingerprints. If I am not true to who I am, I have no integrity. I've walked away from many, many online friendships through the years. I have had to put aside several friendships as well -- all to keep who I am and who I am meant to be in tact. I've learned there are many ways to say no without actually saying no. I've learned that I am often loved by many when I least expected it. Everyday God sends me way more blessings than I can imagine or believe I am worthy of receiving. I just keep my eye on the prize and know that if I am faithful and loyal to Him first all the rest will fall into place.

wow. it seems like this is rampant on twitter and the blogosphere! there seem to be posts constantly about this happening to people. it's unfortunate but i really appreciate your honesty. maybe it will make someone think twice next time.

I know we already talked about this at length on the phone but I did want to throw you some comment love and let you know I am in your corner. I am also so loving that you put Laurie Berkner and Ice Cube in the same message!

I have been wondering a lot lately why blogging and some online ppl can be so mean, rude, and the like, because really there isn't anyone online that really KNOW me. Only a handful. Otherwise, they may think they know me but dont. People need not pre -judge. I fell into this trap myself. Glad to hear I am not alone and now, I too have learned that the same people who are judging me aren't my true friends anyways and I dont need them. I can surround myself with the caring people and REAL people and as A cowboys wife put it, everyone else can go to H. E double hockey sticks, lol
We are all human in this blogosphere and no one is better than anyone else, we just all lead different lives and have different talents. We are more alike than different, so if your going to judge someone else, as Michael Jackson says.... Start with the man in the mirror !!! :)
Great post Jessica ! Well said.

Thanks for sharing, we all have had great days (a lot of new followers and responses to tweets) and our not so good days (can't DM somebody because they aren't following you, yet they gave an entire shpiel about transparency in social media). If this is the purpose of social media, why is it that there is more PDA (public display of a-- - kissing) than actual mentoring and sincerity. I get embarrased by some of the "love fests" going on between some tweeple. What is that about? I just have to remember that the student can graduate from HS, but sometimes the HS can't graduate from the student. Just because people have matured physically, doesn't mean that they're motivations have matured as well. When this behavior hits my blogosphere, I take a time out and focus on the present, the three amazing miracles giggling in the other room, and I'm back to reality. Keep up the great work, we're all behind you:)))

[...] of it was pointed directly at me. Some was pointed at others, Jessica wrote a beautiful post about what negativity and drama do to your energy and why its not [...]

i don't know specifically what you're talking about, but I get it. It's enough some days to make me want to pull the plug entirely. But the bottom line is that haters will be haters no matter the venue, so don't give any fuel to their fire. Someone said it best on Ree's panel at BlogHer: don't feed the trolls.